Keep Ripping Your Heart Wide Open

Keep Ripping Your Heart Wide Open. I can totally relate to the Marnie Grundman quote of “Keep your heart wide open and you'll be received with open hearts — not by everyone, but to be received by one open heart is more than worth the journey.” I agree wholeheartedly to always keep ripping your heart wide open! These inspiring words have been the catalyst I needed for change ever since I first heard them in person from my friend Pedro , when I lived in Canada in the late 1990's. I had spent the first part of my adult life building walls and guarding my heart, but that is no way to live, but only to survive. When I first relocated from Ontario to Coral Gables, FL and I came to get a fresh start in life in the United States, my home country. I had decided to move on an October 1 because I got a good deal on a one-way flight to Miami airport. I left with nothing but myself and my 12 year old cat in his Cat Pet Carrier (paid link) As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. My life was about to change and I was scared of changing lanes. 

I had visited the state of Florida one time in my life, and that was as a child to a trip to Disney in Orlando. Therefore, I did not know anybody, did not have a job lined up, and did not have anywhere to live. All I knew was that I could not stay stuck in my previous situation and that I was not a tree rooted permanently in the ground, so I decided the best decision was to move on as soon as possible, no matter what!

My cat Bingo that lived until aged 23 years old. He had just turned 12 years old when I relocated. God Rest his kitty soul. Bingo was his Name O ....B-I-N-G-O. B-I-N-G-O. B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his Name O ....Yeah, he will always be in my heart!

I came here with my fingers crossed that I would be moving into a house with a roommate that I had met online, but when that fell through I was already in Coral Springs with my suitcases and kitty and I had nowhere to stay at all. My grandparents and parents were already deceased, my brother, Kyle, was in Nebraska, and I could have turned to him for help, but I didn’t want the generosity of him and his new family to make me comfortable staying in the same spot I was at in my life at that particular time. Kyle was a newlywed with a baby on the way, and also, I needed something drastic to help me learn and grow on. I also had an uncle and a handful of cousins then, but they had their own life issues in those days without needing me to burden them with my own. I was well aware of the hardship it would be. I was not afraid to sacrifice when I believed that something good would come from it. As you can imagine, getting a place to rent when you have no job or credit, no address, no money for rent or deposit, no bank account, AND you have an old cat on your hands, is basically impossible. I went to a homeless shelter, but no pets allowed, but they gave me a hot meal. As I was leaving I met a very kind elderly lady, Martha, who generously lent me her sofa and bathroom when I needed it the most. I appreciate her for welcoming me, someone she didn’t even know, more than she can ever know. Lucky for me and for Bingo, she was a kitty-loving cat lady with 4 cats already in her home. My best bet had been to get by until I could save up and find a place to live. I was hired at McDonald's two days later for a part-time job. I used public transportation to get around. I swear it sounds so much worse than it was, but for 4 months until I was able to get my life together, I had felt somewhat defeated at that moment, but it could have been worse. I mean it was not easy at all, so don’t get it all twisted, but I was grateful to have a roof over my head, a place where I knew my cat was safe, and the ability to save money to be able to move up in life and start realizing my dreams. Therefore, I was BLESSED.

It was difficult and there were times when I thought, HOW and WHAT IF?!  How will we turn this all around? What if I made a mistake. But ever since then, I have done nothing but move up up up and away. Yep, I started from the bottom up, just like the popular saying. I started a new life in America, basically was temporarily homeless and didn't even have any food or fresh clean water. I was relieved to not be in that situation in freezing weather. Florida in those days was not as humid.

Eventually, I began working my way up again one step at a time. Baby steps, big steps, but all steps, nonetheless. Oh, and I met my hubby at my second job, at Pizza Hut! We hit many speed bumps along the way after we met, but I was allowed me to ALWAYS RIP MY HEART WIDE OPEN and to KEEP IT OPEN ALWAYS which is what the meaning of vulnerability is to me. Being vulnerable is frightening, rewarding, and a great beauty. I would say until the end, but in reality that would mean until the end of life. As long as a person is alive, then life will be frightening and rewarding. The hardships people have gone through usually ends with the lessons they have learned or something good that came from it. But, then the next chapter begins. Chapters upon chapters. The Book of Life. It is scary for me to publicly put this chapter out there, but I know it’s the right thing to do. My friend Martha's kind and generous soul, and my hard work, got me to where I am now. If I can do it, and then anybody can! An open heart is an open mind. If it doesn't open, then it isn't your door. “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein said it.